Class of 2015 Predictions

Now that our senior class of 2015 is only a few days away from commencement, soon many of us may be in far off places working, studying, volunteering, or just having fun. After spending 4+ years with most of this class, I feel that I have a pretty accurate guess at what my classmates will be doing in their future. Here are my predictions (with some help from a few friends):

Jesse Amstutz: Marries Jiwoo Wi (’17), becomes a decent person.

Neel Baghat: Falafel and curry vendor in the slums of New Dehli.

Erin Bontrager: Never leaves a three mile radius of Goshen Indiana.

Mallory Bontreger: First grade teacher that has difficulty punishing her students.

Isaac Brenneman: Accountant that eventually goes insane from boring life.

Sol Brenneman: CEO of successful company, gives it up for girl that keeps breaking up with him.

Hee Won Cho: High fashion designer, no one buys his clothes, clothes get donated to the impoverished in North Korea.

Tristan Clark: Farmer in Elkhart county, everybody loves him.

Olivia Copsey: Becomes Chef, but has difficulty keeping food supplies on hand.

Ryan Duckworth: Professional announcer and orator at sporting events, amazes people with smooth reading and public speaking voice.

Carole Evans: Marries a Chinese cowboy.

Jordan Haarer: NSA agent, monitoring other people’s internet habits.

Jordan Helmuth: Owner of Tiki Tan.

Noah Hochstetler: Does chores for Jerry and Linda for remainder of his life.

Austin Hooley: Wins Nobel Peace Prize, but does not accept because he has higher ambitions.

Annie Hu: Has to do an oral presentation for a final exam, learns to love public speaking and becomes a newscaster.

Hajin Kim: Starts a guitar repair shop because he shreds too hard on the guitar.

Nahshon Lora: Civil rights activist.

Marisa Marquez: Owns a chain of day care centers.

Ethan Miller: Disappears for fifty years, reappears as tibetan monk.

Hans Miller: Retires at 34 because he’s done all his work already.

Vashti Neff: Owns a Kennel and petitions to allow humans to marry dogs.

Nate Nussbaum: Becomes professional Jerk, kicks people for a living.

Kati Quiggle: Takes a nap and sleeps through her whole life.

Roberto Ramos: Teaches struggling teenagers how to correctly grow a mustache

Cheyenne Riegsecker: Becomes first popular DJ to grow up in Elkhart County, Indiana

Cristian Romero: Wins Miss Bum Bum Competition in Brazil. (Butt competition)

Jacob Rudy-Froese: Prime Minister of Canada, no one takes him seriously because he’s Jacob and because it’s Canada.

Carolyn Saylor: Humanity forgets who Mother Teresa was and can only remember Mother Carolyn.

Young Kwang Sun: Internationally known, contemporary singer-songwriter. Makes popular music actually good.

Logan Swartzendruber: Teaches Chemistry at BCHS.

Landon Weldy: Becomes Batman’s lawyer.

Danielle Welty: Becomes tattoo artist and herbalist.

Lena Yeakey: Marries someone who becomes president, but really she runs the country.

Trent Yoder: Becomes a real life James Bond.

Zac Zmudzinski: Sells weapons on late night infomercials.

 

~Jesse Amstutz