For the past couple of months, me, and most likely my fellow students, have been in tons of zoom meetings. We have had the privilege of seeing a lot of other people in zoom meetings too. These are just some of the patterns I’ve seen in my zoom meetings.
The Phone Peeker
This distracted person is the person that is always looking at their phone off to the side of the screen. They are usually texting in a group chat with their friends who are all also phone peeking. They always try to make it discrete, but it is way more obvious than what they think, even for the less observant people.
The Person Who Has “Technical Difficulties”
This person is doing whatever they can to get out of class, especially when they are at home and can easily get away with it. This person will email the teacher and say that their internet is down so they don’t have to come to class. It’s quite peculiar how they can email when their wifi is down isn’t it? They will always have some reason to not have their camera on just so they don’t have to sit there and focus.
The Eater
This person most likely had an hour to eat lunch and do whatever they wanted to do, yet they still can’t finish their food in the excessively long break. They will sit in the zoom meeting, most likely not actually paying attention, with whatever cuisine they have that day for lunch. There are two kinds of zoom eaters, the ones that try to hide it, and the ones that don’t. The ones that do try to hide it think that they are being very sneaky, but just like the phone peeker, everyone can see them chewing. The eaters that don’t try to hide it always have a full plate of food that is clearly on camera.
The Jokester
The class clown is usually the jokester and will go out of their way to make anything into a joke or some type of distracting performance in their camera. Out of this list, the jokester takes the most skill, precision, and timing than any other distracting zoom-goer persona. Behind the safety of a screen, they will capitalize on a number of things, including teachers asking for input or suggestions, interactive zoom activities, or anything that allows them to make noise. Some easy jokes that can be made could include “unintentionally” making noises in your mic in the short time that they have before the teacher mutes them, or giving an excessive thumbs up when prompted by the teacher.
The Bed Person
This person is, to say the least, not in an ideal learning environment. They are in the most comfortable spot they can find in their house for the zoom meeting, meaning they are usually in their bed laying down holding the computer. They are usually moderately unfocused and probably tired. They usually don’t get called out by the teacher, but when they do it’s very embarrassing.
The Gamer
The gamer will attend a zoom meeting with their excessively large headset with a built-in mic, and have something opened on their second monitor. Beyond that, there are two kinds of gamers. The first isn’t necessarily trying to show off their gaming setup which costs more than some cars, but they definitely won’t be hiding it. If the teacher asks them what they are looking at, they will most likely say something along the lines of “Sorry I’m just looking at my second monitor which is 244hrz and is connected to my gaming pc that costs more than your yearly salary.” The second type of gamer is simply always playing a video game on another screen, and will be very careful to never show the PS4 controller they are holding.
The Dog Owner
The dog owner sounds self-explanatory, but there’s a little bit more to it than just someone who owns a dog. Again, there are two kinds. One kind of dog owner just has a pet that they always find a way to have in zoom meetings. The other kind of dog owner is someone whos microphone immediately has an overwhelming amount of background noise when turned on. That background noise isn’t always a dog but it is very common.